Words to foster a growth mindset in kids | Ranger Buddies | Mandai X

The language we use profoundly influences how children perceive their abilities and approach obstacles. 

Ever caught yourself saying, “You're so smart!”, thinking these are words of encouragement your child should hear?Cultivating a growth mindset, the belief that abilities develop through effort and learning, begins with our words.

This guide equips parents with simple yet powerful language adjustments to replace common fixed-mindset statements, empowering children to embrace challenges, persist through difficulties and maintain a positive outlook.

Encouraging grit: The power of 'yet'

Instead of saying this:

• Maybe this isn’t for you. Let’s try something you are good at.
• Let’s focus on what you can do well instead. You can’t be good at everything.
• Some people just aren't good at math/sports/art.

Say this:

• You haven't mastered it yet, but you're getting closer.
• Keep practising, and you'll improve.
• Mistakes help your brain grow!

Why it helps:

Using the word “yet” signals that learning is a journey, reinforcing the idea that abilities develop over time and that they can be mastered with persistent effort and work. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset found that students praised for effort rather than intelligence were more likely to embrace challenges and persist when faced with setbacks. Setting an environment where it’s OK to make mistakes, as that is what helps us learn and improve, is supportive to creating a growth mindset.  

Teaching undauntedness: Embracing failure

Instead of saying this:

• You should be good at this by now.
• If it’s too difficult for you, it’s OK.
• You didn’t do well here. You should have prepared better. 

Say this:

• Every expert was once a beginner.
• I love that you're trying something challenging.
• Failure is part of success. What did you learn from this?

Why it helps:

By normalising failure, children learn to see setbacks as stepping stones rather than signs of inadequacy. Research shows that children praised for intelligence often avoid challenges, while those encouraged for effort develop resilience and persistence. Using negative words like “should” shuts down learning, making it less likely they will persevere. It is best that you remove the word “should” from your vocabulary. While your intention in your praise is good, the subconscious effects of its meaning will have the opposite effect. 

Building adaptability: Emphasising problem-solving

Instead of saying this:

• This is the way we've always done it.
• Not like that. Let me help you do it.
• You should know the answer by now.

Say this:

• Let's find another way to approach this.
• What’s one thing you can change to improve?
• Challenges help us develop new skills.

Why it helps:

Encouraging problem-solving promotes adaptability and creativity. Children who are taught to explore alternative strategies learn that there’s always a way forward. Studies show that a growth mindset leads to greater motivation, problem-solving skills, and academic success. Conversely, having a fixed mindset and believing there is only one way or one solution to a problem will lead to your child giving up too soon. Encourage your child to question why things are done a certain way and have them explore other possibilities. 

Promoting optimism: Framing challenges as opportunities

Instead of saying this:

• This isn’t going to work. 
• You're either lucky or unlucky.
• There's nothing you can do to change this.

Say this:

• What if it works?
• This challenge is strengthening your brain.
• Every time you try, you get closer to success.

Why it helps:

Framing challenges in a positive light fosters resilience. Optimistic children are more likely to persevere through difficulties and see setbacks as opportunities for growth. Research indicates that a growth mindset is strongly linked to psychological well-being and engagement. 

Praising effort over talent

Instead of saying this:

• You're so smart!
• You're a natural at this.
• You just have a gift for this kind of thing.

Say this:

• I can see how hard you worked on this!
• You put in the effort, and it paid off.
• The more you practise, the stronger you get.

Why it helps:

Praising effort over talent teaches children that success is within their control. Studies show that children who believe their abilities stem from hard work are more willing to take on difficult tasks and persist through struggles. The “Not That” statement here seem positive and encouraging but they praise the child’s character or talent rather than the effort they put in, leaving them unable to cope with setbacks when they do face them. 

Small changes in language, big impact on mindset

Words shape beliefs. Simple shifts like adding “yet” or framing failure as a learning experience can have a profound effect on a child’s ability to develop a growth mindset. 

Start integrating these “Say This” phrases into everyday conversations. Notice how your child responds to challenges differently and more positively. We would love to hear how these shifts work for you. Share your experiences in the comments! 

Grit, adaptability and optimism are strengths that we build into all our Ranger Buddies missions. Check out what's on today!

REVIEWED BY DR JACQUELINE CHUNG

^[1] Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
^[2] Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52
^[3] https://teachingcommons.stanford.edu/teaching-guides/foundations-course-design/learning-activities/growth-mindset-and-enhanced-learning
^[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5147462
^[5] https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2015/04/dweck-kids-potential-042915