Simple ways to nurture empathy | Ranger Buddies | Mandai X

Kindness is not solely a natural trait. It's a skill that can be learned through experience, observation and practice.

What makes one child want to help others and another more self-absorbed? Imagine, for example, you are in a grocery store, and your child sees an elderly woman struggling with her bags. Without prompting, they walk over and offer to help. That’s kindness in action. But here’s the thing, your child’s act of kindness didn’t magically appear. Kindness is a learned behaviour, nurtured through experience, observation and practice.

In today’s fast-paced world, raising an empathetic and compassionate child is one of the greatest gifts you can give, not just to them, but to society. Empathy helps children build meaningful relationships, handle conflicts with understanding and grow into adults who care about others.

Here are some simple, everyday ways to encourage empathy in your child, ensuring they grow into a kind and caring human being.

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows a child to recognise when their friend is sad, why someone might be feeling left out, or how their words can impact others.

The key is to nurture and strengthen the ability to empathise over time. Why does this matter? Studies show that children with strong empathy skills are less likely to bully, more likely to succeed in social and professional settings, and have better emotional resilience. In fact, a long-term study by Duke University and Pennsylvania State University^[1] found that children who demonstrated prosocial behaviour (like helping and sharing) were more likely to have successful careers and fulfilling relationships in adulthood. According to research from the University of Cambridge^[2], children who are taught to empathise also show greater creativity and see benefits in wider learning.

The good news? Every child can develop empathy. And you, as a parent, play the greatest role in making that happen.

Simple ways to nurture empathy and compassion

1. Model kindness and understanding: Children are like sponges. They absorb what they see. If you want to raise a kind child, the best place to start is with yourself.

• Lead by example: Show kindness in your everyday interactions. Say "thank you" to the cashier, hold the door open for a stranger, or check in on a friend who’s having a tough time.
• Express your own feelings: Use “I” statements like: “I feel happy when you help clean up” or “I feel sad when someone is unkind.” This helps children understand emotions in real life.
• Manage frustration thoughtfully: Your child will learn how to react to emotions by watching you. If you handle stress with patience, they’re more likely to do the same.

2. Teach emotional awareness: Before kids can empathise with others, they need to understand their own emotions. Research from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence^[3] shows that children who can recognise and express emotions clearly tend to have better social skills and are less likely to struggle with anxiety or aggression.

• Use books and storytelling: When reading, ask: “How do you think this character feels?”
• Encourage naming feelings: Phrases like, “You look frustrated. Do you want to talk about it?” help kids connect words to emotions.
• Validate their feelings: Let them know it’s OK to feel sad, angry, or excited. Say: “I understand that you’re upset. Do you want a hug or some space?”
  

3. Encourage perspective-taking: Empathy grows when children learn to see the world through someone else’s eyes and helps them develop moral reasoning. Jean Piaget^[4], a Swiss developmental psychologist, extensively explored the stages of moral development in children. In his seminal work, The Moral Judgment of the Child (1932), Piaget observed that children's moral reasoning evolves through interactions, particularly with peers, leading them to an understanding of mutual respect and cooperation. This progression underscores the importance of perspective-taking in developing moral reasoning skills.  

• Ask thoughtful questions: If a sibling is upset, ask: “How do you think they’re feeling right now?”
• Try role-playing exercises: Pretend-play different scenarios, like being a new kid at school or having a friend who lost their pet.
• Expose them to different experiences: Talk about different cultures, traditions and lifestyles to help broaden their understanding of the world.

4. Create opportunities for acts of kindness: Kindness becomes a habit when practised daily. According to Mayo Clinic Health System^[5], regular acts of kindness increase serotonin levels (the “happy hormone”) and dopamine. These neurotransmitters produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being.

• Make kindness part of your routine: Challenge your child to do one kind act per day, like sharing a toy, giving a compliment, or helping with jobs around the home.
• Praise thoughtful behaviour: Instead of just saying “good job,” reinforce their kindness by saying: “That was so thoughtful of you to help your friend when they dropped their books.”
• Start family kindness rituals: Try a “kindness jar” where family members drop in notes about kind acts they witnessed throughout the week.

5. Read stories that inspire empathy: Books are powerful tools for teaching kindness and understanding. In an article published in the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience journal^[6], research found that children who read fiction tend to have higher levels of empathy because they’re constantly putting themselves in the characters’ shoes.

• Choose books with strong empathy themes: Stories like The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig or Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud help kids see empathy in action.
• Discuss characters’ feelings: Pause and ask: “How do you think they felt when that happened?”
• Encourage storytelling: Let kids create their own stories where characters practise kindness and understanding.

6. Encourage helping others: Small everyday acts of helping teach kids the joy of making a difference. Kids who actively help others develop stronger social bonds and feel more connected to their communities.^[7]

• Look for simple ways to help: Encourage them to assist with household chores, help a sibling, or support a friend in need.
• Get involved in community service: Volunteering together, whether at a food bank, animal shelter, or beach clean-up, can be a powerful lesson in kindness.
• Teach the power of giving: Explain how small actions, like donating toys or writing a kind note, can make someone’s day better.

7. Teach conflict resolution with empathy: Instead of jumping to punishments, help kids understand how their actions affect others. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology titled “The Influence of Children's Emotional Comprehension on Peer Conflict Resolution Strategies”^[8] found that children’s understanding of emotions positively predicts their ability to employ effective conflict resolution strategies. The study highlights that as children grow, they increasingly adopt positive strategies to manage conflicts, which contributes to their social competence and leadership potential.

• Guide them through disagreements: If they hurt a friend, ask: “How do you think they felt?” instead of just saying, “Say sorry.”
• Encourage sincere apologies: Teach them to say: “I’m sorry for ____, and I’ll try to do better next time.”
• Promote problem-solving: Instead of scolding them, ask: “How can we make this better?”

Empathy isn’t a lesson taught in a day. It’s a lifelong skill that grows with practice.

The good news is you don’t need to overhaul your parenting style to raise a kind child. Small, consistent efforts, like modelling kindness, encouraging perspective-taking and celebrating acts of generosity, make a huge impact over time.

So, what’s one thing you can try this week? Maybe it’s reading a book about kindness, encouraging your child to help a friend, or going on a Ranger Buddies mission! Ranger Buddies missions help children discover challenges impacting wildlife and the world around us, inspiring children to exercise their kindness and empathy to take positive action. Check out what's on today!

Let’s raise the next generation of kind, compassionate humans, one small act of kindness at a time.

REVIEWED BY DR JACQUELINE CHUNG

^[1] https://qz.com/458591/study-five-year-olds-who-play-well-with-others-are-more-likely-to-be-successful-adults
^[2] https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/teaching-pupils-empathy-measurably-improves-their-creative-abilities-study-finds
^[3] https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2014/04/09/yale-promotes-emotional-intelligence
^[4] Piaget, J. (1932). The Moral Judgment of the Child. London: Kegan Paul, Trench, Trubner & Co.
^[5] https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness
^[6] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4733342/
^[7] https://raisingchildren.net.au/school-age/connecting-communicating/connecting/helping-your-child-connect-with-others
^[8] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1142373/full